My First Year in an Upstate New York College As A Muslim

    "Everything's going to be alright, Hidaya. We've given you the tools to succeed, the habits. You've made it this far. And if you realize it's too hard for you, don't worry, you can always come home, and we can look at other schools closer to home." This is what my mother said to me as I lay my head in her lap, worried about having to move into my dorm. After all, I had lived at my house for the past 18 years... How could I be able to live on my own, learning something I simply heard about a year prior? What if I don't feel comfortable there? What if I don't end up having a good roommate? I mean, we've only talked on the phone a couple of times. Suddenly the worst scenarios flash in my mind. How would I react if this happened? And there's no Halal Meat! What if I starve?! Oh my god, how am I supposed to do Ramadan and Eid? As I pack up the car next morning, I swallow a Dramamine, and prepare for my DOOM that is college move-in day. As my twin Inaya and I race across the campus looking for my dorm room keys, my anxiety increases. Out of my roommate and I, I am the first to arrive. We fill in the room with my stuff, and after a quick lunch at Burger King, My Dad and Inaya leave. I am left alone in the room for approximately 15 minutes before I hear the lock click. My roommate arrives with a woman who I can only assume is their mother, and their father (Turns out that was their uncle... whoops...). After they set up and I've introduced myself to their family, I worry about the year.

    The first few weeks were... tough... to say the least. The new campus and area made it a bit difficult to get around. The greatest thing that helped me was my roommate, one of my closest friends to this day. They were always there to help me when my emotions took a hold of me (and trust me, they took a hold of me a lot.) I struggled a lot my first semester, what with the course work and my older sister getting married, but I managed to land back on my feet thanks to a couple of friends and professors willing to help me. 

    The next semester, I was enrolled in a few less difficult classes (Can you believe that?) and managed to make some more friends along with a determination in my heart to get better grades than last semester. (The ones that know, know, and the ones that don't, please don't ask.) Then came my biggest challenge yet: Ramadan. for those that don't know, Ramadan is a holy month in the religion of Islam. due to my hectic schedule, and the large campus, I could only fast Friday-Sunday every week, in fear that since there was no substantial food to last a month, I would pass out on the way to class. what surprised me most actually, is when I opened up to the staff in the dining hall, they actually knew what Ramadan was and they offered help to me during the month! I was surprised since there was little knowledge about Islam and Muslims upstate, due to such a small community. When it came to the end of the month, I traveled back home to celebrate Eid, the special holiday at the end of the month. coming back, I was finally ready to face my finals and final projects. And needless to say, I did great, ending the semester with a 3.0 GPA.

    While it was hard, I was ready to come back the next year and face these challenges, and maybe as the years go by, I will be able to manage in my adult life as a Muslim woman of color in my field.